10-18

Sometimes I think of making a twitter handle just for the voice that talks back to me when I am in my own head. I used to call him X. I am sure all the good handles are taken by now though. I wonddr if more people would relate to his point of view than my own. I realize this makes me “crazy”. But also, fuck you for thinking you are more sane. Not all of you, but some of you for sure. It is a strange feeling when a thought feels like someone elses. Being crazy would mean I really there is a second person. I know it is ultimately my own. Therapy showed me that. Meditation helps me keep my life in check. Sometimes my wife gets scared I will have another episode. It has been a few years though. I used to smoke, which was a my way of self medicating legally. I don’t like pills anymore, they made me too numb. It swung the pendulum too far in the other direction. Most people aren’t gonna relate to any of this. But maybe you are the ome who does. 

Good night. I can’t sleep.

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