Waves 3-5

A stream of consciousness style is usually how I do this. Writing my thoughts as they come to me when I sit down to write. I have decided on the name for my blog, something different than My Thoughts Eternal. I don’t really like the ‘my’. It seems selfish, like no one else has these thoughts. It shows the ownership, my ownership of these words I’m writing but something seems wrong about it. I wonder how this flows. If the poem I have been trying to write in my head will ever get to the screen of whatever it is you are writing…. my hope is these thoughts and maybe the poems I have been thinking of will help someone through their struggle that is life. My wife was upset the other day because she was feeling like she deserves a break. She lives a good life, is helpful to others, karma is on her side. We had found out our new born daughter would need eye surgery for a congenital cataract in her left eye. Our other two children had health issues very young as well as rough pregnancies. This pregnancy had zero complications so she felt like everything would be ok. The thing is, we always have a struggle. I always hope for the best but years ago I accepted things would be turbulent. I try to help her realize these trials and struggles, this heart ache and pain, will make us stronger if we fight through it. When I was born the doctors didn’t think I’d make it past the first day. Yet here I am, still fighting and living. I told her there are people who seemingly live in calm water but I have never been in them for long. Where some feel the water get choppy I have ridden waves. We may feel like we deserve calm water but if we just become better surfers or swimmers than anyone else, it wont matter. This is the basis of the poem in my head, the one I can’t find the right rhythm to.

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