I spoke with a friend this weekend about a confidant. The worry was she did not trust the woman her husband was confiding in and so she did not want to be hypocritical and confide in me. I suppose I am of the opposite sex but the issue to me is based on her not trusting her husband. The idea of a confidant keeps coming up in my head though. We want to trust people. Having someone to talk to feels great. It is therapeutic to vent and tell someone secrets. It only works with trust. There is also the issue of whether this other person has their our interests or our interests as the priority. This is also where my friend finds issue. The idea of this other woman wanting to know her husbands secrets so they can be used to take him away…. one definition of love I heard recently is “giv I ng someone the tools to destroy you and trusting they will not use them.” Love is a veey fragile thing and once those tools are used against someone they weapons. It is hard to earn the trust back. There is a desperation sometimes to rebuild with some people but what if it is too far gone? I saw my parents try to rebuild a relationship when it was too far gone. It destroyed them and the people around them. It seems selfish to me or maybe so codependent that it is no longer about the love or the people but the appearance of a happy relationship. Codependency is a huge issue which is seen as a societal norm much like alcoholism. Just because it is prevalent on TV does not make it healthy or “ok”.